Why do people marry?
The last fortnight has been a great time for dance,
music, feasts, laughter and reliving old memories. You see, there were two mega
weddings in the family! Participating in these, enjoying every bit of it, I got
a funny thought. Why do people marry? I am happily married, silver jubilee fast
approaching, with two fine children; yet the thought was strange.
Invariably, when someone is eligible to get married and
looking for the right partner and the right moment to tie the knot; we have
habit of ‘advising’ them, that marriage is indeed the right thing to do; it
makes one complete. The poor guy or girl, sincerely wanting to enter matrimony,
takes our ‘advise’ seriously. As soon as the “candidate” is away from earshot
we say “when you are single, you are incomplete; but when you marry, you are FINISHED”
The philosophical way of explaining the creation of the
world is that “God created the world and called it the Garden of Eden. Into
that garden he sent Adam, who was meant to be the pinnacle of his creation. He
found Adam wandering and lost in the garden and then realized that the poor guy
felt incomplete. So he sent Eve to join him. Now God felt happy, Ah! My man is
complete now with his woman, he exclaimed” From that free garden, the man and
his woman roamed, enjoyed, procreated and multiplied. We all owe our origins to
that Garden, where Mr Adam and Ms Eve, first landed!!
But man (woman included) is a funny creature. He felt the
need to institutionalize this relationship; therefore he created an association
called “marriage” because it was a democratic thing to do. And God, because he
had abdicated his responsibility to this man/woman combine, left them to fend
this battle themselves. Since that day, every man or woman who has married,
goads, encourages, analyses and justifies the need for others to marry. The “candidates”
of their encouragement tie the sacred knot; only to end up doing the same for
their successors and this way the great institution is kept active and dynamic.
And whenever the wedded ones turn to God for an answer to their mutual disagreements,
God only looks down and winks at them saying; “I only gave you the garden, why
did you make it an institution!!!!!!!!!!!!!”.
In the western society (now even in India), “live-in”
relationships are pretty common. The partners, probably wary of entering into a
commitment, decide to live together, to test their minds. Once their choice is
firmed in their minds, some of them decide to formalize it. In the west, we
have heard of many couples actually marrying after child-birth. Obviously
therefore, the emotional or mental quotient that decides marriage is
“commitment and compatibility”. Couples, who find themselves emotionally or
intellectually compatible, choosing to spend the better parts of their future
lives together, decide to institutionalize the relationship for posterity. To enable that happening, the society,
including parents, relatives, friends etc are made witnesses, and in turn they
bless and wish the couple well. Thus this institution, which provides feasts,
celebration, merry-making for others, is kept vibrant and relevant, atleast in
the Indian context.
There are of course those who choose to remain single.
They are not the subject for this article. They can read the opinions that are
obviously going to fly across, once this article is posted. Happy reading!
Prem & Om
Suresh
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